Ali was telling us about the the things she didn’t realise mothers-to-be needed. I was in a room with Ben and Annabelle, in fact we all three sat together in a row of inexperience in the world of pushing people out of vaginas. Opposite us were Ali sporting her baby bump, Helen and her 4 month old, Max, along with Vicki and her two babies (I think one is two-ish and the other is not)

Hellen and Vicky murmured agreement that they either knew of, or bought disposable knickers; the item Ali had brought to our attention. I thought disposable knickers were Primark ones because when Will goes on holiday, he buys “disposable socks” from Primark, using and then binning them before heading for home.

When it comes to pregnancy or baby talk, I’ve learnt to just flit in and out of conversation. Asking questions leads to answers that make the lower half of me feel like it’s withering up and retreating into my gut. I was busy flitting out.

I think Ben must have been doing them same thing however, we were both wrenched back into the conversation when Annabelle piped up with “oh of course” referring to the sense in disposable knickers “because there’s quite a lot of discharge, isn’t there?”

And thankfully before anybody could start to talk about their discharge Ben struggled out of his chair and bellowed “Jesus Fucking Christ, there is actually a Man in a room and now I have to get out of this fucking chair to leave with my sore back ooOOooOAAaw, fuck that hurts.”

And then once he was up and heading for the door he said “I wank and then spurt semen out of my cock all over the sheets, how do you like that?”

The conversation turned to men who like to pretend periods don’t exist. Apparently Ben is also one of those and frankly, If I sported a penis, I think I would be too.

I saw Inglourious Basterds last night. It was everthing I needed it to be. And long. I didn’t think about anything but the film for the duration of it, which was wonderful. No niggling thoughts or jarring recollections of things I need to do. It was bliss. Bliss furnished with great dialogue and fantastic headwear. I can’t remember when I last went three hours without getting an email or feeling a stab of worry.

Today was crunch time for the sun. It hasn’t made much of an appearance this week, but I really, really needed it to in order to take some photos of work for the upcoming show. I was up and down all day next to the window, hoping for some decent light. And it came in the end.

I just need the fuckers to upload so I can go home, to The Strain and bed.

Here’s a photo of Stan half out of bed

And here he is doing a super-yawn-number-one.

Jesus, I want to see that film again. Right fucking now.

The Joshua Liner August Group Show opens. I’m thrilled to have a piece in it.

above “The Luxury of Being Left Alone for a Little Bit” oil and ink on canvas. 30″ x 30″

Last week I saw Moon. Although I also wanted to see Coco Before Chanel and AntiChrist, Liz saw Coco and said that what she saw of it was good however, she still fell asleep. And Lyndall saw Antichrist and said “There is a cool talking fox and a deer with a half aborted fetus hanging out its bum that has this really gormless expression on its face… I was bored a lot of the way through though, alternately bored and disgusted and sometimes impressed.”
And even if she said it was amazing, I didn’t want to see an 8 foot representation of Willem Dafoe’s penis going into a vagina, or female genital mutilation. If I did that to my boy, he’d probably force me to go and see G.I. Joe or Transformers.

Anyway, we saw Moon. I liked how dirty everything was. The others will make it to DVD soon enough.