On Saturday Night I sat up until amost 2am watching the met office’s precipitation radar. I think I missed the snow by about an hour.
Still, it was one of the best Saturday nights I’ve had in a long time.
I wake up barely anxious now. Every now and then I’ll want to keel over with nerves- but then my sluggish head will remind itself that the show is on, with enough work, on wallpapered walls and I relax.

“Interesting topic!  I really enjoyed your discussion points and plan to share your blog with my friends!  I didn’t quite agree with everything but I do like to see other peoples points of view.  If you want to learn how to get 100% free access to Adul…”

no.

“That makes a change” she says, whilst ringing up my berries.
“I’m not meant to have that stock, which doesn’t happen often. I had 6 bags and now that’s the last one”
I don’t know what she’s talking about, don’t pop in often and am anxious to get back into the office for a cup of coffee.

“Normally we’ve lost stock”

I don’t know this is the start of a very long one-sided conversation I’d rather not be part of. Sadly, probably not dissimilar to the sort I subject people. In hindsight, it’s probably payback.

“Really, do you have a problem with theft?” I ask.

I care because in health shops, theft probably means pensioners with tricky fingers.

That little question, that started it.

She says yes, they have a problems. She tells me how she knows who steals the healthy sweets, if those exist. That it’s a little old man who removes stock and then re-aligns the boxes so that no gap appears at first. I laugh. She says she’s sick of it though, but that it’s no big deal since she’s leaving soon. She says she doesn’t mind, that she only came here to open this shop and that she looks forward to returning to Whitley Bay. It’s closer to her or her boyfriend or something. She tells me how far this shop is from her home, compared with how far the Whitely Bay branch is. Then she tells me about the traffic and the driving time difference between the two. I try to wish her good luck and be on my way, but (regretfully) she tells me how her lift into work (with a boyfriend who works at some yard, who gets free parking) means she spends an extra hour every day wasting time (and if you care, it’s 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after work, which at first was alright since there was stock to organise but that now there isn’t)

I say “Aw, jeez” and “Just as well” and hope she’ll let me leave.

But she doesn’t. She says that she’s glad to go, that she’ll keep her salary and that she gets dibs on the Washington store when that opens. And that “it’s a long story, but I’ll tell you quickly:” she lost a baby. I say “aw jeez” again. She says it was 7 hours old and that she had a c-section and something else I don’t understand. She gestures to where her two large scars are and tells me something about another operation I can’t recall. And she tells me that the drugs connected to it made her ill and vomit and pass out and that she was up and dosed with morphine 4 hours later “what with the bairn being poorly”. I say “jeez” again and it seems to suffice.

She says it took her 2 years to conceive and then the confusing bit: that he’s having one with his girlfriend soon. I think perhaps I’ve missed something, but then I’m really cold what with standing in the doorway at 9 in the morning, without my cup of personality.

She says she was fine before and that now she’s anaemic and something else and I thought “just as well you work in a health store” but I don’t say it, of course because I want to go. She says yep, the baby was lost and that “people round here” just want to ask her about it. They won’t drop it- the old people. And I think “that’s really horrible” just before realising that she seems more or less alright with telling me about it, not that I asked.  And I don’t even want to know, because this sort of thing makes me feel uncomfortable since I don’t really know how to respond. I think: Why so hard on the nosey biddy then? I don’t say this either. I say “knaaaw” or something like it and I jiggle my legs a bit because it’s really cold.

She says that “he” then got her a rabbit, to make her feel better. And that it wasn’t really what a woman wants when she loses a child, but that it died when it was 5 days old anyway. She doesn’t say it, but I get the sense that she feels like it’s rotten luck that even the things you don’t want still die on you.

Then he got her another, but she needs to work. This one, the new one “is loopy”, she says.

And since “loopy” is happier than “dead” or “sick” or “dying” I say “ah, well enjoy it!” and then “bye bye!” and I run away.

The show is finally open. I had my Tripp-Support-Network along with the London-Division come along, which was so lovely because I never expected anyone to travel for it.

Ideal Brown and I thought it would be lovely to have all my friends and family in one room, but I really didn’t get to talk to many of them at all. Even Mother and Father Brown came up and I was touched to hear them bollock the boy for not sending them my preview. I mean to come along AND be interested is sweet.

I also finally met Paul and Stuey; mint. And long overdue, so I probably rambled uncontrollably.

I’ve uploaded some photos, but more should be on the way. I also want to get the video up online.

Cheers to everyone who popped along. I really appreciate all the support and was chuffed to bits, if a bit scared and shaken up.

Lyndall and I walked home so we could see the night rabbits outside the library. On the way I got called a “fokken kont” for ignoring a bellowing drunk. At least she got a feel for the toon.

I’m so tired and relieved.

This is just a bland little note to anyone enquiring about the work we’re releasing next week; If you could please email claire@lazinc.com she’ll be able to sort you out with prices and availability etc. I’ve had a few emails about prints and what-not and I’m just not the girl for the job since I’m still running around balancing canvases on radiators trying to get the buggers to dry. Nobody will be here watching the site on the 13th, so contacting the chaps at the gallery will be your best bet.

As far as prints are concerned, we’ll be doing ‘Do You Think Your Mom Will Notice?’ – Signed and numbered 2 colour hand-pulled screen print Edition of 45, 54.5cm x 54.5cm, on 300gsm Somerset Velvet, £150 +VAT. Each copy of this print will also have the title lettering applied by hand. I saw the little poppets getting printed yesterday and as it turns out, we didn’t need the third colour at all.

We’ll also be doing ‘Still Rocking’ – Signed and numbered Giclee Edition of 25, 76cm x 61cm, on 315gsm Innova Smooth Natural Cotton White, £175 +VAT.